Mom’s last gifts

This is the eulogy I shared at my moms life celebration. May you find the peace and joy in Christ that she did. Kathryn Louis Hirsch 1/23/1945 – 12/30/2023

Today is Epiphany – the day in our church year that remembers the manifestation of Christ to the Gentiles as represented by the Magi. Matthew 2:2-12. I had completely forgotten about the significance of this day when we picked it to celebrate moms life. Here is a refresher on what we commemorate on this day from Matthew 2:9-11.

After the Magi had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen in the east went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where theChrist child was.  When they saw the star they were overjoyed. On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. They they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh. v. 9-11

Im grateful today as we celebrate the life of my mom that I can share some of the gifts that she gave to us. Kathy taught us so much throughout our lives and in her last days still had some lessons she wanted to share which I hold as sweet gifts. I believe these lessons or gifts we received from mom are what she would want all of you to have as well. Like the Magi on the first Epiphany these gifts mom shared honor Christ and point us back to him, which is always where she wanted our focus to be.

The gifts from mom to you.

1. Presence is important: One of the first things I realized when Mom moved into the memory care unit was that when I would visit I could have zero expectations except to be present.  Although mom was losing her ability to communicate with words she still had plenty to say… if I was paying attention. Presence was important.  There is very little time in my life when I allow myself to sit for hours with someone without distraction.  Time with mom and nothing else grew my awareness of the glory of a beautiful fall day when we sat on her porch, the delicious taste of chocolate chip cookie.  When we would walk around her facility it was with a pace that opened up space to really see the world around us. Mom would greet the residents.  She would notice when someone needed help.  My heart rate didn’t elevate and my step count stayed low but this exercise in presence was and is something I know I needed. Im guessing you do too.
2. Lighten UP:  As we got to know mom’s fellow residents in Memory care we realized she was in the midst of amazing humans whose list of life accomplishments were many and impressive.  On was a top Surgeon at the University of Michigan hospital, one was a professor at Mizzou, etc etc. Mom served many years as a the Director and lead teacher or a pre school and child care center. Sitting in the space of these brilliant souls that were now living a very simple life reminded me to never take myself too seriously or put too much stock in the accolades I collect. 
3. Find the Joy:  each time I visited mom I was determined to get a smiling selfie with her.  I am so grateful that goal was accomplished up until one week before she passed.  When I scroll through my phone full of her beautiful smile I also am struck by the pictures of her struggle.  I captured so many emotions and in  between some pretty hard moments – mom flashes her beautiful smile.  Mom laughed and teased and danced with us almost to the end.  We are very sure she was experiencing pain we could not understand and yet even then was saw her find the Joy. 
4. Stay connected to Jesus. He will continue to speak through us even when we can’t.   Our family celebrated Thanksgiving with mom and dad.  After our meal we each shared what we were thankful for from the past year.  Dad was excited to share that mom had some words for us as well.  Mom was resting while we were sharing so these would be words from her past that would be so important for our present.  Dad had been reading through a devotion book that mom had used called Jesus Calling. The words are to be read as if Jesus is speaking them to you. The devotion dad shared with us was from some past Nov 23 for our present Nov. 23.

Nov 23 Thanksgiving – Jesus Calling devotion

Mom had underlined these words: 

As you sit in my presence, let ME fill your heart and mind with thankfulness. This is the most direct way to achieve a thankful stance.  If your mind needs a focal point, gaze at My LOVE poured out for you on the cross. Remember that nothing in heaven or on earth can separate you from that Love.  This remembrance builds a foundation of gratitude in you, a foundation that circumstances cannot shake.

As you go through this day, look for tiny treasures strategically placed along the way. I lovingly go before you and plant little pleasures to brighten your day.  Look carefully for them, and pluck them one by one.  When you reach the end of the day, you will have gathered a lovely bouquet. Offer it up to Me with a grateful heart.  Receive My Peace as you lie down and sleep, with thankful thoughts playing a lullaby in your mind. 

In moms hand writing at the bottom of the page:

Let your light shine upon us oh Lord.  You have filled. My heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound.  I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone oh Lord make me dwell in safety.  Psalm 4:7-8

We had been praying for peace and safety for mom as her struggles increased.  How good to know she had prayed these words herself many years ago.

The night before mom passed, my sister was cleaning up her room.  She discovered a small business card in her jewelry box that I had never seen before.  I had opened up that jewelry box numerous times and have no recollection of this little card.  It was from a funeral home in Readlyn IA.  It had a small pin with a Butterly attached through the card. On the card mom had written 

“The butterfly is a symbol of the Resurrection.  Like Christ, the butterfly emerges from its rest in glory and beauty. “

My sister told us she spent much of the evening reading the words to her over and over and over.

As my sister and my dad and I sat with mom her final hours these words reminded us that mom was in her cocoon state.  She was in the process of moving into her eternal life with Jesus emerging healed and whole and beautiful as a butterfly does when they emerge from their cocoon. 

It occurred to me as we read these words to mom that she was actually reading them to us.  She knew where she was going. She knew her healing was soon.  She needed US to be confident in her Resurrection that would come from faith in Christ.  I believe that God saved the revelation of this little card for that vey moment so Mom could teach us this one last lesson.  Mom was never comfortable with the spotlight always wanting her life to point to Jesus and his love.  

As we celebrate her life today I I encourage all of you to receive these gifts she gave to us :

1. Be present in your moments
2. Lighten up
3. Find the Joy
4. Stay connected to Jesus in his word. It is what will  always last. It is what will always sustain. It is what will always speak.

To God be all the glory.

Our last smiling selfie:)