Matthew 16:21-22 “From then on Jesus began to clearly reveal to his disciples that he was destined to go to Jerusalem to SUFFER INJUSTICE from the elders, leading priests and religious scholars. He also explained that he would be killed and then three days later be raised to life again. Peter took him in hand, protesting ‘ Impossible master, that can never be!’ “
Such a strange verse to start this series off with don’t you think? As we begin this season of Lent – 6 weeks looooonnnnnnngggggg…. why am I starting here ? I’ve got plenty of time to cover the hard realities of Jesus death and resurrection – why couldn’t I start this series with something more fun – like the time he said YES to turning water in to wine at a wedding?? so much more celebratory!
The reason I’m starting here… is because if I don’t … I may never.
I’m a master at the art of re-framing. Give me any hard, negative, sad, obstacle of life and I can find a way to make it better – sweeter if you will. I have Mary Poppins like skills in delivering the medicine – you just need a big ole dose of sugar. Some say I’m the eternal optimist. Pain, challenges and conflict make me incredibly uncomfortable so if I can paint a rosier picture I feel I have made the world a better place… at least in my own my mind.
Almost 50 years of life has taught me this isn’t the healthiest way to live. You see my ability to ‘turn a frown upside down’ has landed me in the unfortunate position of needing to deal with mountains that would have stayed molehills if I faced the truth of the situation earlier. You name it – I can deny pain… my health, finances, relationships, rattles in the car…. Yep I’m a master.
And today Jesus says – it’s time to stop.
In Chapter 16 of Matthew Jesus gets clear, crystal clear with his disciples. I imagine him unblinkingly looking them each in the eye, no waver to his voice speaking the simple truth about his purpose for living. His most important act to come was not the life he would keep living but the death he would be dying. He would SUFFER INJUSTICE at the hands of the religious leaders??!! He knew his people needed to hear this from his mouth. Pretending like he would fulfill his purpose in the way they hoped (an earthly king, brining earthly peace) would do them a huge disservice. Just like starting our lenten series without calling out the elephant in the room would be a disservice to you and to me. From the start – I have to remember that Jesus was born to die. It would be brutal. It would be ugly. It would be unfair. It would be because of me and my sin. ouch. Nothing sweet about this story.
I have to wonder if Jesus straight talk was also for himself. Did his human flesh need the accountability of his reality with those he loved most? Did speaking it out loud not only clarify for his followers but his human heart his reason for coming to earth to walk with men? If Jesus needed straight talk to himself.. then certainly so do I.
PRAYER:
Jesus show us the areas of our hearts that are coated in the sugar of denial because the “thing” feels too hard or too painful to address. Remind us that there is nothing too big for us to bring to the foot of your cross. Amen
Loving you where you are and pointing you forward to where He is,
As the new pastors wife I had been given a season of grace when we first arrived at the church Tom would serve. I was 7 months pregnant with our second child. Something about a woman with a bulging belly and a 2 year old on her hip that sends the message ‘give the lady some space.’ After Jonah was born and it must have appeared on the outside that I was navigating the move into a new community, new baby and 2 1/2 year old fairly well….I got the first ask.
Spring 2000 – trying to hold it all together:)
“Beth – the ladies group felt you would do a beautiful job leading our cradle roll. Would you like the packet of information so you can get started?”
Now- I knew enough about this fantastic ministry to new moms that I simultaneously affirmed IT was wonderful yet me leading IT was NOT. It involves sending prepared cards and encouragement to new moms on regular, planned intervals celebrating different milestones in their new babies life. What a beautiful, important ministry right? But for me – wrong. Friends- lets be clear – my own family doesn’t get birthday cards on time- why in the world would I think this would be a good spot to serve? I knew that a YES would actually end in future disappointment to the ladies group because I would not fulfill the requirements of the job. So with a smile and a thank you for thinking of me…. I replied “No Thank You.”
I’m very certain I left the woman a bit surprised and possibly offended by my response.
The last pastors wife did it….. so why wouldn’t I? Oh the guilt.
This was the first of several ‘no thank you’s’ I dished out my first year at this congregation… including not singing in the choir or teaching children’s Sunday School. I was rocking some boats to be sure. Despite the feathers I may have ruffled ( wow – rocked boats and ruffled feathers- gasp) at church I was protecting something much more important – my ability to serve my family in a season that required much physical and emotional strength. Tom and I had recently made the decision that I would be a full time stay at home mom which meant a lighter schedule for me to be more present with my babies. I was saying No to income, No to much adult interaction and NO to professional stimulation so I could say Yes to energy, time and focus on the 3 little people that now filled our extra bedrooms.
Since that important day some 20 years ago, the day I said NO to protect my bigger YES…I have had an up close and personal view into the struggle that many woman have with the word NO. For the last 15 years I have invested countless hours coaching female entrepreneurs as well as raising children with other mommas that wrestle with the guilt that often accompanies the word ” NO.”
Here are several phrases I’ve seen swimming through the minds of woman.
“I SHOULD do it.”
“What will people think if I dont?”
“What will people think if I do?”
“I’m a stay at home mom so I’ve got more time.”
“I’m a work outside of the home mom so I’ve got more income.”
“I don’t want to burden my hard working husband so I should really be home at bedtime, or on a Saturday…”
The reality of all of these statements is that there is a slice of truth in each of them… but just that … a slice… not the whole.
As I built my business from my home while managing a household of 5 the ability to say NO became even more important.
No to attending every single one of my 3 children’s sporting events, friends birthday parties, or school field trips. I did some – but not all. No to leading a women’s bible study at church that both filled my cup and those of the participants. No to home cooked meals every night.
When I walked through Target with my 3 littles I was a constant stream of No’s. Mom – can I get this stuffed animal? Mom – can we get a snack? Mom – can we go down the toy isle again?.
NO. NO. NO.
The interesting thing about all of the above No’s is that they often opened up to doors for future better Yes’s.
Not attending all my childrens events – created opportunities for an excited play by play from them after the fact. I often felt like the story telling was more exciting than the story living.
Not leading the women’s bible study at church freed up the spot for multiple other competent leaders to use their teaching and leadership gifts.
Not cooking every night opened up creative meal planning and prepping from both Tom and the kids.
Now writing a blog like this can be tricky. It can come off as prescriptive and preachy – both things I really despise and exactly the opposite of what I hope to communicate. There is one thing though… one truth I want to point you to … and it has nothing to do with your decisions to stay home with children or work outside the home. It has nothing to do with how many nights you cook a home cooked meal or how many organizations you support with volunteer hours. It has nothing to do with how elaborate the birthday parties are you or do not throw for your children .
Occasional ice cream for dinner:) This little one is now a healthy, happy 17 year old
No thank you.
My desire is to point you and me….
to Jesus.
He is the one who wants to be the fuel for our decisions, the wisdom for our questions, the strength to stand for what he tells us to do – even when the peanut gallery tells us otherwise. James 1:5 says “If you want to know what God wants you to do, ASK him, and he will gladly tell you, for he is ready to give a bountiful supply of wisdom to all who ask him. He will not resent it.” My passion as I mentor women in business or teenagers making decisions about their future, or young moms deciding to nurse or bottle feed… is to help them / me/ you to trust that we have a God that knows our best Yes’s which means we will have to say some hard no’s. He modeled this when he sent his son Jesus to turn a world upside down with the truth of his love in Just 33 short years on earth. Even though he was God – he walked on earth in a human body with all the physical limitations that come with it.
The Savior of the world showed us the power of NO. He left his posse when he needed time alone. He moved on to different cities while there were still sick to be healed. When people asked him to JUMP – he did not say ” How high?” but “let me check with my Father.” He did nothing outside of His Fathers will. Jesus was clear on his mission, which gave him clarity on how to use his time. This gave him the confidence to give hard yes’s and no’s to those around him – especially in the weeks leading up to his death on the cross. Something funny about a hard, fast deadline – our vision narrows, the fog clears and we get on it – whatever that it is. Jesus “it” was to complete the race he had been given to run where the last mile was death on a cross and the victory lap was done outside of his burial tomb.
I will use the next 6 weeks to prepare my heart for Easter Sunday ( the point of Lent – did you know that?). I’m going to take a look at Jesus’ Yes’s and his NO’s. I want to learn from his life and his words and his wisdom. I invite you to join me ….. and of course you can always say…
No Thank You:)
“Come get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”JESUS . Matthew 11:28-30 MSG
Concordia MO. Thankful for a big No from God that lead us here
This is my spot to share what comes out when I spend time with my friend, my creator, my comfort, my wisdom, my teacher, my discipline, my coach, my redeemer, my Lord, my Savior.
justbeth:) 