Kitchen Tables

DATE DAY

If you time it right you can get right in. A seat at the table of our favorite Kansas City BBQ restaurant. If you time it wrong you are in for at least an hour wait. Its always worth it – the food is amazing. But if we have the option of eating in an off hour with less wait time – we will take it. Although we love Q39 BBQ- I had originally wanted to spend our date night at a beautiful restaurant overlooking the Missouri River. We discovered it in fall of 2020. It was one of our first excursious out of town in the after mast of covid. It was delightful. Delicious food. Good Missouri wine. I was so excited to go back – it had been too long.

I was disappointed when the web site informed me that it had transitioned to an EVENT ONLY establishment. “Host your college reunion, wedding reception, birthday party”. How about dinner for 2 celebrating making it through another year?

I just wanted a quiet seat, at a quiet table in a lovely restaurant to reconnect with my husband.

Plan B:

Lovely dinner – got right in. Burnt ends burger. A little disappointing – truffle fries off the menu. Semi delicious mock tail. And then we were off.

When I had envisioned our time in the city – I imagined a delicious meal and then a browse around The KC Plaza area. Our drive to the plaza took us through a beautiful neighborhood with winding, hilly streets with homes that look like they sprung up from the limestone bedrock soil – for which this part of the world is famous. (Fun Fact: KC is often called the Limestone Belt) . It was a clear, sunny afternoon in the mid 40’s. Really perfect for window shopping and an occasional peak inside those stores that were calling our name.

Our usual parking garage was a buz (tranlsation – packed with impatient drivers) activity. In the past we had zipped in and parked quickly. As we navigated the crowded space – I began to feel claustrophobic and was on the verge of suggesting we just go home. The other interesting observation was that we began to notice people pulling home made signs and posters out of their cars – like the were preparing for a protest. hmmm….. I could feel my imagined happy, peace filled date with my husband slipping away.

Protest it was.

After one more swoop around the block and the discovery of another entrance to a higher level of the parking garage with plenty of open spaces we parked and headed out. We continued to see a few people with their signs. Again ….Hmm…. My husband said he had wondered if this …

what? a protest?

would happen.

Really?

COUCH STORE

I’ve been thinking about couches. I love the L shaped versions I often see in Costco and I have occasionally been drawn in to the commercials showing sectionals that can be reconfigured with covers that are machine washable and are guaranteed to last 100 years. As we rounded the corner after exiting the parking garage, we saw it. The couch store. It was full of cozy seating and the softest pillows. In we went. The sales woman was lovely. A recent college grad and new to the KC area. She was moonlighting at the couch store and her full time job was with the Army Core of Engineers. She did a great job. She knew her product and knew how to meet us where we were. There was relaxing, happy music playing. Just lovely. She asked if we wanted to snuggle in to one of the display couches and watch a 3 minute video that would share a special feature of the higher end versions that included surround sound. Of course!

About 30 seconds into the infomercial -the distraction started. It began as an occasional voice yelling and then turned into unified chants. The sign carriers we had seen in the parking garage had gathered with hundreds of others to express their disdain. They were clear on where they stood and what they believed. Many signs were filled with explitives fueled by anger. We attempted to focus on the video and the comfy couch but our heads kept turning to the march happening right outside the store windows – just 20 feet away.

The contrast was obvious, and strange and a bit awkward. Do we stop watching the video and pull up a few more sectionals and process what felt like crazy with the 3 sales people that were standing between us and the window? Looking back – I kind of wish we would have. After the video completed and we stood up to leave – I said “I kind of want to hang out with you guys for a little while.” To which the african american male said – you are welcome to stay as long as you like.” Not in a “Please stay so we can sell you something” but in a “yea, this is weird and I wouldn’t want to go out in that either.”

MIDDLE GROUND

Here’s where I confess my limited knowledge of world events. I don’t want to live with my head in the sand but I also am not a fan of news media ( no matter the angle) that use fear to induce anxiety with the attempt to keep me locked in – so I don’t miss out. I hate it. I depend on Tom to keep me in the loop. He explained how recent events in another city in another state may have provoked people in our city and state to express their feelings.

Does it matter what it was? – nope.

By the time I post this – there will most likely have been another event and another protest. It appears that is the way we roll. No middle ground – just people living in their bubbles – focusing on one point of view and then when someone infringes on it we yell at all other bubbles – with the desire to….

and this is my question – what is the desire? The hoped for outcome?

Im thankful we live in a country where we have the right to express out beliefs. The group that marched down the heart of Kansas City was peaceful ( for the most part) and had taken the legal steps needed to shut down the street for an hour. As we left the store we found ourselves walking in the opposite direction of the march. I made eye contact with a few – hesitant smiles and head nods. But gosh … I was struck with the emptiness that comes when there is an obvious elephant in the room and there isn’t a table to sit at to begin eating it…

one

bite

at a time.

The very next day our church community gathered for fellowship over the best potluck ( our church kills pot luck) and conversation. We heard from our volunteer leaders and the work they had been doing to further the mission of sharing Christ with our little part of the world. We had opportunity to ask questions and share perspectives. These occasions, also known as Voters meeting, are filled with lots of opinions, voices wanting to be heard , all believing their way is right…. and most likely – everyone having valid reasons to feel the way they do.

Where is the middle ground? Where is the table? How do you lead a large group to desire to understand each other, more importantly – understand God. Where is HE working? Where does HE want us to join him?

MY TABLES

In my 22 years of working as a consultant for a major skin care and cosmetic company I have learned the beauty and the power of the kitchen table. The kitchen is where people spend the most time, its where the most beautiful and the most challenging conversations are had. I have memories of lingering around tables after dinner – connecting and processing the events of the day. My in laws were pros at this. When I met them they were retired – so in a season where the rush of life was gone. My husband tells me the after dinner linger was actually something that they always did.

I have memories of storming away from the dinner table as a teen – frustrated with the decisions my parents had made about something I wanted to do.

We get real in the kitchen.

So, when a recent new potential client offered to just “Shop off my website – so I would not need to make the long drive – to sit at her kitchen table….” I replied – oh I absolutely want to come to you. It’s what I do! Our company believes in letting people experience the products before ever making a purchase. We want to be confident that you are totally happy and meeting in person helps me to best connect you to your perfect routine. All I need is access to water and a kitchen table.

A table,

in the kitchen.

Nothing fancy.

Please remove the festive centerpiece – I will need space for my product demos, space to take notes on you, your skin,

your life.

The kitchen – the space where food is prepared – from Joanna Gaines veggie lasagna that requires 27 steps and focused attention to each detail to a quick frozen pizza thrown in the oven at the end of a busy day. This room holds the place where we are reminded we are not immortal, we need regular sustenance to keep going. The table shouts out a call to pause, to sit, to recharge in order to move forward.

⁹For he satisfies the thirsty
and fills the hungry with good things. Psalm 107

Tom and I love sports – and when an exciting game is on – we will eat on the couch. Often its on pizza nights. It’s a fun shift from the ordinary. It also takes us away from the connection as we turn our focus to a game we wont remember a week later – maybe as a way to avoid the yuck of the day, of life… as we drift away from the table.

But the table.

This week my seats at kitchen tables opened up conversation with a ‘new to our town’ , young newlywed. She shared her excitement for the next year of her life when she and her husband will host an Italian exchange student.

I learned about another young mom that recently lost a baby,

and a 75 year old cancer survivor that is now permanently on oxygen because of a trial drug experiment gone bad.

I learned about the excitement of a single woman heading off on a new adventure with a move across the country.

I learned from an 81 year old man that losing part of his driving privileges is hard – a bright light shown on the reality that we cant stop aging, or change – no matter what the season we are in.

As I get to know more about the people I spent time with this week, around kitchen tables, I imagine I will discover things with which we don’t agree. If I stay curious I may gain important perspectives that I may not have had if I stayed walking in the opposite direction of those that think differently and never stopped to pull up a seat at table. Knee to knee, eye ball …..

to actual eye ball.

Tell me more.

UNEXPECTED TABLES

As Tom and I continued our walk feeling like fish swimming up stream , we began looking for a restroom. We needed a quick stop before we headed home.

The sign said, “Welcome, come on in, restroom available.” It had the name of a bank – but it didn’t look like one. It had tables, and a coffee bar and a couple of conference rooms. When the physical warmth of the cozy space hit our faces we were greeted by a kind young man letting use know we were welcome and please let him know how he could serve us. We walked up to the coffee bar that had a display of sweet treats. When asked how they could help – Tom replied “I’d like something sweet but not sure what it is.”

Well… why don’t you let us share some macroons, for free. Which flavor would you like?”

We accepted the treats and wandered around what we now understand is a most brilliant marketing strategy by a bank – The Capital One Cafe. Make people feel safe and seen and heard. Train the staff to not push, just meet felt needs and be ready when there is curiosity about the whys of the space. We used the restroom, sat at one of the comfortable tables. We never felt like we were intruding or that someone wanted us to do something. There was no requirement to use the restroom like another store that only let you in to the restroom if you had a code found on the bottom of your receipt… after your purchased something. It would have been the perfect space to invite one of the marchers in to learn more about the fire that fueled their passion to make a sign, bundle up for a walk down a closed off street on a cold and blustery January Saturday.

The whole 1 hour drive home I couldn’t stop thinking about the contrast between the couch store, the cafe and the protest march. I realized that what I really wanted or what would have been really amazing was if there was space big enough for the marchers and the shoppers in stores lining the streets to gather, together.

A place filled with small tables, free maccroons , accessible restrooms. A place that encouraged conversation and sharing and hopefully hearts curious and open to learn. And when I started to feel overwhelmed by the feeling that the gaps in our world – in

every

single

sector

are just too big, to actually accomplish what my heart was yearning for…

I felt the Lord say…

Start with your table, your family, your neighbors. He reminded me of the tables with which I had sat and the things he had revealed. He said start there, with the people God brings across your path that you may initially dismiss because of the clear differences you may have.

Because of…

The sign in their yard.

The church the do or do not attend.

The identity they chose.

The music they listen too.

The books they read.

The clothes they wear.

The things they post on social media.

The food they eat.

They ways they discipline their children.

It’s hard right? But it’s not impossible.

One table, with 2 chairs and 2 open hearts and minds.

Lord draw us close to you.

Lord draw us close to those we love

and those we do not.

Restore our land.

The Beatitudes

Matthew 5:3-10

³“God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him,^[a]
    for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.
⁴God blesses those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.
⁵God blesses those who are humble,
    for they will inherit the whole earth.
⁶God blesses those who hunger and thirst for justice,^[b]
    for they will be satisfied.
⁷God blesses those who are merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.
⁸God blesses those whose hearts are pure,
    for they will see God.
⁹God blesses those who work for peace,
    for they will be called the children of God.
¹⁰God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right,
    for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.

FALL RISK

It was the foggiest Christmas season I can remember. Not spotty fog that burns off by mid morning, but thick, dense, suffocating fog that lingers from sun up to sun down. Days of it.

Days,

and Days….

and Days.

A fog that makes one think – it cannot possibly be this dark tomorrow. And then it is, again and again and again.

On New Years Eve – after what felt like a month of fogginess – the thick clouds finally lifted. The sun shown, the blue sky danced and you could feel a shift in the energy in the air and in our Vitamin D deprived souls. So when I snuggled into bed at 9 pm (my normal New Years eve bedtime, lets be clear – my normal- every night bedtime). I had the fleeting thought that this new blue sky trend must continue.

New Year – New Sky.

Fresh visions, renewed hope for a better future. Desire to do more. Resolves for stronger habits – deeper convictions.

All.

The.

Things.

And then I woke up and it was back, denser than before.

The fog in the air, and if I am honest – some of the fog in my soul.

What the what?

Despite it being an actual New YEAR – what do you do when everything still feels the same? When the flip of the calendar is just that – a flip of the calendar. Everything else, the circumstances, the realities, the dirty dishes in this sink and laundry in the basket – still there.

What do we do when we want change so desperately and everything around us wants to dim our ability to see what we we thought was so clear?

I realized when I opened up this writing platform that I have 10 unfinished blogs spanning the last 1 1/2 years. The last completed blog was in the summer of 2024. There were several years where I wrote weekly and during Lent of 2020 I wrote and published something

every.

single.

day.

What happened?

Life has felt low key confusing verging of full out chaos. I know you can relate.

Chaos up – Writing down.

Ever dropped anything in your foggy seasons?

I know, because I listen and I watch. I see the lives of people I know and love in the midst of things they never thought possible. For many, 2025 was a year of deep hurt and overwhelming challenge.

Toward the end of December I was getting a steady stream of inspiring quotes to process and questions to answer as I prepared for a New Year. In the midst of the normal – “You can do it, its a fresh start, God is making all things new posts” I saw one that gave me pause.

It was not an encouragement to look forward but to pause and look back. In the long list of questions formatted as individual frames of an instagram post – there were two that stood out.

Before you plan next year, spend one weekend asking yourself what actually drained you this year. ( most high achieving humans jump straight into next year’s goals without understanding the patterns that exhausted them.)
List 10 unexpected gifts from this year, things you’re grateful for that you didn’t plan. (BRAINZ MAGAZINE)

In the midst of the actual fog blocking my backyard sunrise view and a cold that has taken control of my sinus cavities – making thinking difficult – it created the perfect opportunity to ponder these 2 things:

Things that drained

Unexpected Gifts

FALL RISK

First – Things that drain.

I made my list. I discovered there were several things that have been on the list for literal years. Things within my control. Things I didn’t feel I had the energy or ability to do anything about. – which I now realize was simply not true. Second – I discovered that there were some very real and hard things that had occurred. I allowed myself time to acknowledge both the difficulty of the circumstances and the reality that I was still alive. STILL ALIVE.

Written, honest words on a page staring back at you are powerful.

The fall season brought on a level of chaos I had not anticipated. I watched two women in my town lose spouses too soon. My body was reminding me daily of the need for a surgery that would need to wait until we walked through a “necessary spine surgery” for my dad. I would need to be available to him and then I could deal with my own stuff. This surgery that I was lead to believe would require 2 weeks of intense caregiving time turned in to 2 months. Full of multiple urgent phone calls – “your dad fell. He didn’t sleep” He will need to be in Rehab 3 weeks – not 3 days. Once home we were making regular trips to the ER. I spent hours in the ER, hours in the hospital when docs were trying to figure out what was going on. My sweet dad was struggling. I wanted him back and healthy. I wanted my mom -his wife- back and by his side. Hours with a Geriatric Pharmacist that seemed to give some good advice. We moved forward with tentative hope.

UNEXPECTED GIFTS

By the end of October things seemed fairly stable. My husband and I were able to attend a 3 day Spiritual Leadership Coaching workshop with some of my very best friends and their spouses. It provided time to process, to grow deeper in our understanding of how God wants to speak to us and others. These three days gave space to think new thoughts and bring some of the realities of my world into focus. I found myself crying out to God. I was so tired of feeling like I couldn’t make plans, have vision for a future. Life was so foggy, so many things were falling. I would take one step forward and feel like I would need to take 5 steps back. The risk of forward thinking was being smashed down by the weight of the fog and falls it seemed to fuel.

And then….

And then…. God spoke.

It was more – God reminded me. I love that when scripture comes to our mind , we can trust the Holy Spirit had something to do with it.

In John 14:26 Jesus says,

But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.

One of the questions we were asked at the Spiritual Leadership Coaching Workshop was – “What false vines are you connected to?” Where are you looking for peace that is not from God? Where are you spending your time? What thoughts dominate your mind? What beliefs are you holding tight to that are not from the true vine,Jesus, that we learn about in John 15.

God revealed his answer through an obscure story from the Old Testament. I had read it months ago ( shout out The Bible Recap reading plan). Obscure then but now God used it to break through the fog of discouragement that had settled in. He turned what felt like a whisper when I first read it into a shout from the mountain tops – straight to my fog covered heart.

The false vine I had been holding tight too, the mantra I was repeating over and over and over…

I can’t have vision or hope for the future in the midst of chaos. My life will always be one of survival – not thriving. I can’t think ahead – the circumstances are too daunting. Buckle up and settle in for a life of mediocrity that leave hope in the backseat.. maybe even kicked to the curb. I was tired and this vine felt very comfortable. Pass the remote… pour a glass of wine.

And then there came Elisha.

The account in 2 Kings 6 describes a challenging season in the lives of God’s people the Israelites. A prophet Elisha had been sent to share God’s truth to them and to their adversaries. And one king was ticked.

2 KINGS 6:9-20

⁹The man of God ( Elisha) sent word to the king of Israel: “Beware of passing that place, because the Arameans are going down there.” ¹⁰So the king of Israel checked on the place indicated by the man of God. Time and again Elisha warned the king, so that he was on his guard in such places.

¹¹This enraged the king of Aram. He summoned his officers and demanded of them, “Tell me! Which of us is on the side of the king of Israel?”

¹²“None of us, my lord the king,” said one of his officers, “but Elisha, the prophet who is in Israel, tells the king of Israel the very words you speak in your bedroom.”

¹³“Go, find out where he is,” the king ordered, “so I can send men and capture him.” The report came back: “He is in Dothan.” ¹⁴Then he sent horses and chariots and a strong force there. They went by night and surrounded the city.

¹⁵When the servant of Elisha got up and went out early the next morning, an army with horses and chariots had surrounded the city. “Oh no, my lord! What shall we do?” the servant asked.

¹⁶“Don’t be afraid,” the prophet answered. “Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.”

¹⁷And Elisha prayed, “Open his eyes, Lord, so that he may see.” Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.

¹⁸As the enemy came down toward him, Elisha prayed to the Lord, “Strike this army with blindness.” So he struck them with blindness, as Elisha had asked.

¹⁹Elisha told them, “This is not the road and this is not the city. Follow me, and I will lead you to the man you are looking for.” And he led them to Samaria.

²⁰After they entered the city, Elisha said, “Lord, open the eyes of these men so they can see.” Then the Lord opened their eyes and they looked, and there they were, inside Samaria.

We can have vision in chaos, focus in the fog…..

when our spiritual eyes are opened.

God showed up and showed off in the midst of possibly one of the most confusing times for the servant of Elisha. They were physically surrounded by their enemies. So dense ( like a fog that doesn’t lift) that hope was lost. What will we do!!!!

But Elisha..

But God….

the one who can give

focus in the fog

light in the darkness.

Vision in the Chaos

Hope for our future.

When the calendar turned from October to November – I just kept waiting for the week when I could rest. The only pre requisite was that I needed major surgery before that could happen. Before the world and I would know I

was not available.

For anyone.

I could

not

wait.

The Monday of the week of Thanksgiving I checked into surgery I was given 2 hospital bracelets.

One had printed my identity – Full name, birthdate.

Beth Lynn Lange

10/21/1970

One that indicated I was a FALL RISK. hmmm…. ironic – I thought. Hours of my life have been dedicated to putting out fires with my dad because of this identification.

And what I would learn 10 hours later…is that we all,

in every moment of our lives..

are at risk of falling.

My doctor tells me now that I was on his – super simple, low challenge, low risk, easy peasy surgery list for his day in the operating room. He now tells me the actual surgery was quick, shorter that expected, didn’t reveal any cancer,( PTL) removed the pesky and quite large fibroid, and all my reproductive organs. Everything looked great.

Until it wasn’t.

A series of unfortunate events starting with my bodies inability to totally wake up after surgery lead to foley bags inserted, stroke protocols called for when I couldn’t answer the questions I’d been asked a gazilion times: Name, Birthdate, where are you…..

I have memories of looking at Tom, he looked concerned, looking at my friend Allie, a nurse who works in the hospital where I was and stopped by to check in , trying to ask them what was going on. In my head I knew what I wanted to say but the words, gosh the words..

Just so hard to find the words.

Lots of lights, lots of doctors, rushing down a hallway, cat scan, “Beth you need to lay still”… “Oh yes I thought – I’ve done this before.” Back to my room.

Nurses all night long that wanted to know my name and my darn birthdate. Why? Why do you need to know? Are you planning a party for my next circle around the sun celebration? Why was this question so hard.

And then 7 a.m. came and the fog was gone. Just like that.

My body didn’t like the cocktail of anesthesia and post surgery pain meds. Once things had processed through my body – I was fine. Just fine.

Beth Lynn Lange

10/21/1970

I answered the nurse boldly, confidently.

And my dear husband who had spent the night on the hard hospital room couch proclaimed,

“She’s back.”

When I think back on those approx 16 hours of crazy.. I do not remember feeling afraid.. I just wondered how long this fog would last?

Isn’t that what we want to know when the fog feels thick – Lord how long?

How long will feel I this way,

How long, How long, how long.

And the Lord answers – I’m here.

No time frame, no schedule of events, no programs with all the acts of our lives formatted perfectly where you can see the beginning, middle and end all at one time.

Just the promise.. I’m here. Immanual – God with us.

He brings light to our darkness, our fog, our confusion, our despair… its what he does. Its what he did… from the first day he created the world,

Genesis 1:1-2

1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. ²Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

³And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. ⁴God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. ⁵God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.

To the light he used to lead his people through the dessert, Exodus 13:21

By day the Lord went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night.

And when he sent his son in flesh as the light that came into to world to redeem and restore all that has been lost.

John 8:15

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

Things that drain,

Unexpected gifts.

I found my lists beginning to dance together. It was in the draining seasons where I experienced so many unexpected gifts. Gods people encouraging, Gods timing opening up small pockets to enjoy the delights of life, God giving strength and answers I simply did not have. Mourning would turn to dancing would turn to mourning and spin back around to dancing. The Lord used both lists to bring me good and Him glory.

He can and he does give Vision in our Chaos. He will open our spiritual eyes to things beyond our understanding.

Sometimes shining enough light for one tiny step.

Sometimes giving clear, miles wide vision for our future.

His light ……in my fog,

your fog.

Lord,

open

our

eyes.

Amen.

2 Cor 4:4-12

⁴The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. ⁵For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. ⁶For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,”^[a] made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.

⁷But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. ⁸We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; ⁹persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. ¹⁰We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. ¹¹For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. ¹²So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.